Resolve to Surrender

Resolve to Surrender

My largest resolution is to surrender to the feelings, the moments, and the process of growing and evolving each minute, hour, day, and week of the new year. I resolve to fully absorb.

The effects of this resolution to surrender transcend into a few different things:

The first is a different approach to goal-making and goal-tracking. I recently read an article The Art of Goal Setting by pro runner Lauren Fleshman that resonated deeply with what I’m striving for in 2018. She urges us to “set process goals, not outcome goals.” The reason for this is that the process is within our control. Because of this it makes the steps of goal setting and goal reaching more introspective, and therefore more attainable. For example, my goal of running a sub-4 marathon is NOT an example to follow. While that may be a part of the initial process of wish-listing, the course, weather, sickness, or any number of things could have ruined a whole summer of training in one explosion of disappointment.

If I had instead set out to say my goals were to do X number of workouts per week, pushing myself Y number of days, and keeping a training journal to hold myself accountable, I may have seen the process transition into the ultimate result.

The second is to to high-bar the goal-setting path. In 2017, I set goals that I’d been tickling for so long they were no longer something on the distant horizon. Even before the 2017 new year, I had what I would consider a near-breakdown over my job situation. I’d also already discussed with said man of my dreams about the potential to move in together. These weren’t really goals so much as they were “plans.” As a result I stripped myself from the potential to truly dig into my soul and see what I was capable of. Apart from pushing myself further than I ever have before in my running, I wasn’t really reaching to capture my other goals. I was lazily jotting down nice things I hoped would happen to me, but was already pretty sure would.

Read More

Day Breaker: The Year of the Rooster

Day Breaker: The Year of the Rooster

2017 is the year of the rooster, a day maker, a call to action.

In so many ways it's already been a year of great change, followed as always with great uncertainty. At these times I'm left to wonder what remains as a tangible object I can hold onto. With every year older I'm left to give up another security held fast in childhood. There are no “security blankets” in adulthood.

Although I've only analyzed my personal circumstance I wonder if this intangibility is a contributor to the quarter life crisis characterizing our generation. But then again, I think of all the amazing things our generation has created from intangible property. We are the babies of the Internet, the children of the app revolution, and the pioneers of the future tech standard. We live our lives on an intangible platform and not only rely but thrive on its uncalculated depth of opportunity.

As a direct result of this intangibility, we’ve also been able to achieve ambiguity. Our relationships are concealed behind the veil of a screen, and this is convenience comes with incredible price. I’m guilty of it too. I’ve used social media to portray very specific sides of myself. I’ve used the distance of a screen or internet conversation to voice thoughts I’d never deem appropriate in face to face contact. I’ve lost a portion of the credibility for which I used to hold in the highest esteem: to be fully accountable.

Read More